I can’t believe I’m finally writing this post. It felt like I was going to pregnant forever at one point but now my sweet boy is almost 4 weeks old and I feel like I can finally emerge from our newborn bubble and write this down!

    Obviously, it goes without saying that this was my own experience and although for me it was an overall really positive experience, it may not be that way for everyone. I just want to share my positive experience as reading other positive stories helped me prepare myself.

    Okay, so I ended up in the hospital on the Monday (18th Nov) after going in for reduced movements (I hadn’t felt baby move for a little while and he was quite an active baby). After talking to the doctors and a lot of deliberation, we decided to go for the induction that they had offered so went home, packed our last minute bits and got some rest before heading back to the induction ward the next morning.

    Tuesday (19th) morning, we headed back to the hospital and got ourselves all checked in and comfortable in our room. Very quickly, one of the midwives came in and did an internal exam to see how far along, if it all, I was because what they give you to start your induction depends on how progressed you are. I was already 2cm dilated, which is far enough to skip a few things like the pessary to start you dilating, so they could instead jump ahead and break my waters as the next step but to do this they had to move us to the delivery suite.

    The delivery suite was super busy so the midwife told us to use the time to rest up and they would come and get us when it was time to move over. It was a long ol’ wait as it was 6am Wednesday (20th) when they woke us to tell us that a bed was ready and we could finally move over to the delivery unit and honestly, this is where my nerves kicked in but I used the tools from my hypnobirthing course and stayed really calm.

    When we got to the delivery suite, they had to do some monitoring of me and the baby to make sure we were both ready for them to break my waters. Baby was absolutely fine but my heart rate was a running a bit fast so they had to let that come down before they could do anything. The midwife team I had were absolutely amazing and helped keep me in a really good headspace as did Sam and my mum.

    At about 5pm, they could finally go ahead and break my waters. They explained everything to me and made me feel so comfortable the whole way through. Baby was really low so the midwife did struggle to break them and did have someone else come in and double check that she had got them (she had, wahoo!) and then they recommended that I got up and went for a walk to really help bring the contractions on (I had already been having minor ones for days at this point) as if they didn’t start up within an hour, they would have to put me on a hormone drip to get things moving.

    I went for a wander with my mum around the hospital and to get some food and drink to keep us all going as we knew it could still be a long time before anything happened. We came back after an hour and I was definitely feeling the contractions, they were coming every 5 minutes and were very powerful but I was breathing my way through them. They did another check and I had progressed to 3cm but they ideally wanted to start the hormone drip. I asked if they could give me another half hour or so and if the contractions hadn’t gotten more powerful then we would start the drip. So while we waited we discussed pain relief options. I took some Paracetemol to take the edge off while we talked. She took me through all my options and debunked a lot of negative thoughts I had about epidurals which was amazing.

    I decided to get the epidural relatively early compared to most from what they told me. I decided to get it early because I knew that once they started the hormone drip, my contractions would come on faster and more powerful and I wanted to get ahead of the game really and as someone who is not a fan of needles, this was a big deal to me.
    They called the Anesthesiologist and he hooked me up (pun so intended). I didn’t feel a thing as he did it and if anything I was more nervous for that than I was labour itself and it was absolutely fine. Then they popped the hormone drip in to help my contractions along.

    Unfortunately for me, the epidural worked everywhere but one spot in my back. Doesn’t mean that will happen to you guys though but honestly, I was still way more comfortable than I would have been had I not had the epidural. Slowly over the hours, the epidural gets stronger and stronger so eventually I couldn’t lift my legs even though I was so determined that I could and gave it a good go!

    The hours ticked by and they checked me again at about 4am on Thursday (21st) and I was 7cm dilated and I knew I was going to have my sweet boy at some point today which gave me a second wind of energy, kinda. I was struggling to stay awake so tried to get some sleep in between my contractions. The midwife told me that the day shift would check me over at about 7am and see where we were at as she didn’t think it would be much longer until I hit the big 10CM.

    Lo and behold, when they next checked me I was 10cm dilated. Once you hit 10cm, they have to leave you for an hour for babys’ head to descend further before you start the active pushing stage so that’s what we did.

    An hour or so later, it was pushing time. They thought baby was back to back as I was feeling all my contractions in my back and not in my belly like most people will tell you they did and they also thought his head was a bit on the wonk position wise but said it should rectify as I started pushing.
    I was pretty vertical to try and have gravity on my side and it was go time. However, the epidural was now making me feel very sick and I had thrown up a few times throughout. Thanks to my hypnobirthing course, I used my breathing to help me through each contraction and pushing and stayed so calm, like I had been for the last few days. I didn’t make any noise. No shouting, no screaming, just calm breathing to help me get through it. I felt very in control of my body and what it was doing and felt so supported by Sam, my mum and the midwife team.

    After 2 hours, we weren’t getting anywhere so we discussed our options. They said that the next thing they would offer would be an assisted delivery with the use of forceps. They talked me through it and explained why I would have to be moved to theatre as a precaution and I agreed.

    So they wheeled me to theatre and got Sam all scrubbed up and in the midst of it all. I still had time to laugh at how funny he looked.
    After the theatre team looked me over and we did a few pushes so they could assess whether they would be able to do anything they told me that the baby was too big and that I would have to have a c-section, especially as I had now been in labour longer than they like when someones waters have broken.
    Although it was technically an emergency c-section due to the high infection risk since my waters had been broken 19 hours prior, I still felt very calm and collected and could understand why everything was happening.

    They then had to administer the spinal block, basically the same thing as an epidural but 50,000 times stronger and it numbed my body from the ribs down. I could not feel a single thing and it was such a weird out of body experience seeing my legs being moved around without feeling anything!
    Again, the team kept my so informed and I felt so unbelievably chilled out that I spent more time poking fun at Sam and trying to keep him calm as I could see how concerned he was for us.

    Then, at 1:38pm our sweet boy was born weighing a hefty 10lb 13oz. Now, I did not have a very big bump so literally everyone in the room, myself included questioned where on earth he was because my belly did not look big enough to be homing an almost 11lb baby!! I genuinely thought I misheard them when they said how much he weighed!

    Sam cut the cord and they then bundled him up and brought him over to me so I could have some cuddles whilst they stitched me back up. It’s a moment I’l never forget, hearing him cry and seeing his little face for the first time.

    They then moved me over to recovery where my family came in to see us all and check we were okay and have some cuddles before they moved me to the ward.

    I know that for some people this may sound a little scary but honestly, it was one of the best experiences of my life. I felt so calm and in control and the team were so wonderful in keeping me informed and helping me and Sam make decisions that were right for us and what was happening.

    My sweet baby, Sebastian Noah.
    21/11/19 at 1:38pm.

    I would also 1000% recommend to anyone who is pregnant, to buy the hypnobirthing course from The Positive Birth Company. It was the best thing I bought and it gave me so much information and techniques that helped me stay calm and make my decisions throughout my labour.
    THE BEST THING I DID. I’ll link it here —> HYPNOBIRTHING.


    Hello, hi, long time no post!
    So, I actually wanted to start this mini series a little while ago and I had one ready to go in my drafts and then, yes I am blaming baby brain here, I forgot and by the time I remembered it was too late to post it so we are starting here at half way through.

    I am actually 19 weeks and 5 days currently but it makes more sense in my brain to round it to 20 weeks and go from there! As it stands I am pretty much half way through now which is CRAZY, it feels like it’s flown by and yet November still feels incredibly far away but I know it’s going to feel like no time at all, eeek!

    I do want to preface with this with the obvious; this is my experience and it is very likely going to be completely different from what you and your partner are/may experience.

    I didn’t have the smoothest of starts with my pregnancy, I felt god awful all day every day pretty much from before we found out up until maybe a week ago? I still do have days where I’m waking up and going “oh god, here we go again, the sickness is back” but it wears off pretty quickly now (touch wood) which is a positive!
    My tiredness too is also wearing off a bit more! For the first 14 weeks or so, I could barely manage a few hours at work before feeling like I needed a nap and was quite frequently getting home at 5 and falling fast asleep until 9, waking up to eat and then going to sleep for the night. Now, it’s not too bad, I still have the occasional nap but it’s a lot easier to get through the day without feeling like a complete zombie two hours after waking up.

    Lil Squish deffo starting to make themselves known!

    My bump is well and truly starting to form now and it’s becoming more obvious that I’m pregnant even though it’s still pretty small (or at least I think so) – It’s nice to see a proper little bump form because for the last few months, I just looked like I’d been massively over fed at my Grandma’s house!
    I also felt some first proper movements the other day which is really crazy, words actually cannot describe how weird/cool it is. It almost feels like little flutters and I’m going to cherish them before they turn into full blown kicks pretty quickly!!

    We have our 20 week scan on Monday and hopefully if lil Squish decides to be kind to us, we will get to find out what we are having and then the true money spending starts! I have been dying to find out so we can start planning nursery themes and start picking names! We do have a list of names for girls and boys but it’ll be nice to finally start picking one instead of collecting what I can only describe as the longest list of names you’ve ever seen!

    The baby grows are from Debenhams and the other bits were gifts from family so not sure where they’re from!

    That’s pretty much the round up!
    Feeling a lot better than I was at the start and am looking forward to the second half!
    I cannot believe that we are having a freaking baby! Not sure if that will settle in before the baby is born but that’s where we are at!

    I’m probably going to do some regular check ins from now until Squish arrives and maybe a couple other pregnancy posts too in the mean time! So check back for more content like this as well as the regular!


    We’ve all been there. The ideas no longer flow like they used too, the enthusiasm seemingly disappeared over night and all of a sudden you’ve fallen out of love with something you’re seriously passionate about and you don’t know what to do.

    That is exactly where my brain has been the last month or so. I got sick and was out of the game for a little bit, was only just managing to get to work and back and then I was sleeping for the rest of the day and all my days off. My creative juices weren’t flowing and suddenly I found myself in this massive rut. I thought once I felt better it would all come back but it didn’t and then I started to doubt my ability at whether I was even any good at this and had I just burnt out?? My motivation was certainly lacking and lord knows where it went but I think it’s slowly returning again.

    Obviously everyone deals with their ruts and motivation losses in a whole bunch of different ways but here is what I did.

    1. RE-EVALUATE. I spent time re-evaluating why I started in the first place. Why did I want to start? and it really helped for me to realise why I started and why I want to continue. I started this because it was a passion project, something I wanted to take somewhere and I had to realise that again.
    2. INSPIRATION. I found my inspiration again. I went back through Instagram and through blogs I’m subscribed too to realise what it was about their posts that I interacted with and why they resonated with me that I chose to subscribe to their feeds. I found my inspiration again.
    3. PRACTISE. I practised writing down all my different ideas. I wrote tonnes of drafts to see what felt right for me to write. What I actually wanted to post. It helped me get rid of all the “filler” ideas I had had just to have content to post. It helped me realise the kind of content that I actually want to post.
    4. RELAX. My fricking God did I need to relax. I was so panicked that I was failing because I couldn’t think of content that I wanted to write when that wasn’t the reality at all. I haven’t done much other than spend time with friends, binge watch BONES on Amazon and play Mario Kart and it has done me the world of good to just let myself relax instead of over thinking as per usual.

    Honestly, I needed to take a step back and go through all of this to realise that I don’t want to post any old content just to have something to post. I want them to be posts that I really want to write and that I hope, people actually want to read.
    I hope that if you are stuck in some kind of rut or lack of motivation that this helps in some kind of way. I know I’ll probably be coming back to this again at some point!

    See you on the next post!


    Mothers Day is getting real close, real quick and if you’re here that probably means you’re struggling for what to buy your mum too and I don’t know about you but I’m sure mums are getting harder and harder to buy for.

    I can’t make it home for Mothers Day this year because ya girl has got to work so my sister was the mastermind behind this years gift which is actually a really sentimental one so major props to Molly on that one!

    So, here are some suggestions if you can’t think of what to get!

    1. FLOWERS – It’s a classic. It’s iconic. It’s a sweet gesture that, like me, if you can’t get to your Mum on Mothers day can also be delivered which gives them bonus points. For me, these are just a staple for a gift.

    2. CANDLES – Again, another classic. Who’s mum doesn’t love a scented candle to pop in their living room? I will, until the day I die, recommend Yankee Candles. Purely because I think they do such a wide range of fragrances and the smell pay off is great. So a great option and a great variety to pick from!

    3. PERFUME – Me and my mum have very similar tastes in perfume so buying her one never stresses me out but I think it’s such a great gift to get. Even if it’s just a fresh bottle of their favourite one. It’s a thoughtful gift to get for someone.

    4. BATH STUFF – Honestly, what mum out there doesn’t like to get bath stuff? I get my mum bath things all the time to keep the stash topped up! Lush have some really sweet spring bits that are all floral and butterfly looking that would make the perfect gift for the occasion.

    5. MAKEUP – If you have a mum that is super into makeup then treat them to something they maybe wouldn’t usually get themselves. I would recommend the Charlotte Tilbury lipsticks, a lil on the boujee side so maybe not an everyday purchase. They have super sleek packaging and look really pretty so make the perfect gift. Pillow Talk is the ultimate every day rosy pink if you want a more neutral pick!

    6. SENTIMENTAL – We bought my mum a very heartfelt, sentimental gift this year. I am not going to upload a photo of it for obvious reasons (hi, mum) but we are very happy with it and we know it will mean a lot. Check places like Not On The High Street because they do really sweet sentimental prints and things like that that can make a Mothers Day just that extra special.

    Hope this helps you find something for your mum!
    Let me know if this helped you in any way!


    I have been a Lush fan for as long as I can remember. There’s something about going in store and being over whelmed by any and all fragrances and let’s be real, all bath bombs and bubble bars look so cute that it’s kind of hard not to spend hours getting lost in the swirl of “Oh, what’s that?” or “I haven’t used that before, add it to the basket” and before you know it, you’ve got £500 worth of face masks and bath bombs that will last you until the bloody apocalypse.

    So when I was in town the other day and mentioned that I wanted to stock up my stash did we pop in and there was the Valentines launch front and centre.
    Honestly the first thing my eyes saw were the Aubergine and the Peach emoji styled bath bombs because of my sense of humour and I thought it was hilarious and actually a really clever idea, but mostly just funny. So they were the first ones that we picked up and then we stumbled across this cute blue and pink boat called the Love Boat and naturally, that went straight in the basket too because what 20 year old doesn’t want a bath bomb boat in their tub? Whilst I was at it, I also picked up my favourite bomb which is the Intergalactic and my favourite bubble bar, The Comforter (both amazing but the Comforter smells like Ribena to me which is actually a really comforting smell so it works!

    I do wanna start with the ones that aren’t apart of the Valentines collection and just say that Intergalactic will always be in my top 3, easily! It’s the beautiful swirl of blues and pinks and yellows and a fuck tonnes of glitter to make you feel like you’re floating in the milky way. It’s beautiful but just a psa that the glitter is very difficult to get off your tub but totally worth it.
    Of course, The Comforter. My favourite bubble bar, the only thing I re purchase every single time I go into store. My Ribena bubble bath dream. That is all.

    Now on to the Valentines, lovey stuff.

    First one I used was the Peachy bath bomb (which you can buy here: Peachy Bath bomb) which retails for £3.95. This was everything I hoped it would be. It created the peachiest bath of all my dreams. It fizzed out peach and pink tones and a fair few bubbles that twisted into this sparkly peach dream that made my skin feel lovely and obvs smelt like peaches and I felt SO content that I could have stayed in that dreaminess for the rest of my life. Deffo not an exaggeration. Not at all.

    Next up is the Love Boat (which you can get here: Love Boat) and this retails for £4.50 – This has the prettiest blue and pink swirl with cute little love heart shaped oil beads that made my skin feel wonderful. It eventually evened out to a beautiful pink pink tone with some sparkles in it and it made the room smell like literal sweets and as someone who loves sweets, let me tell ya it was heavenly!

    And lastly, the one we’ve all been waiting for, the Aubergine (which you can get here: Aubergine) and this goes for £3.95. I will say that out of all of them this was my favourite. Not just because it is wonderful and funny to look at but I lurvee the colour and it smelled like Parma Violets and that makes it an automatic win in my book. This one stayed purple throughout, it didn’t throw out 50,000 different colours before settling into what it should look like. Again, it had some sparkles in it (I’m pretty sure that’s just the norm for all bath bombs) but these actually washed out of my bathtub and didn’t cling to the sides like the Peachy one did so another win for the Aubergine. 

    So, overall, I love the Valentines collection. Apart from some glitter clinging to every surface of me and my bathroom which I fear I will never manage to completely remove, it’s great! It’s a fun, cheeky collection that’s worth the purchase!


    (#AD – The two bottles featured in this post were kindly gifted to us by Chillys)

    I don’t know about you but I am a massive sucker for cute water bottles and re-usable cups. My kitchen cupboards have got tonnes in them and every time I walk into a store that sells them, I want to buy more!

    Now, Chilly’s claim that their bottles will keep all cold drinks cold for 24 hours and your hot drinks hot for 12 which is a great concept and is a huge marketing point and it’s exactly what I bought into! I work 8am-6pm most days with not a lot of sitting down time and a refreshing cold drink is exactly what I need when I’ve been running around so I bought it to take to work with me.

    I will say that it does exactly what it says it does. I love making a cuppa and popping it in my bottle and it still being hot a couple hours later when I remember I’ve got a drink. Long gone are the days of forgetting you made a cuppa and it being cold by the time you get to it! I also took mine on my holiday to Portugal last year and let me tell you. AMAZING. Nothing’s worse than laying by the pool and your drink being warm when all you want is that coolness! I sunbathed and played in the pool for blooming ages because I didn’t need to keep running back to the villa to get a cold drink!

    Lets talk price.

    The standard 500ml bottle ranges from £20 to £25 depending on what designs you get. I have the Watermelon one that’s in collab with Pret that is no longer available (and I purchased myself) and the “Wild” design with a rose gold lid (that I was kindly gifted) that you can shop here: Wild with Rose Gold lid (The standard lid is silver and if you want to change it, it’s an extra couple of pounds) but you can also get a smaller bottle at 260ml (£20) and the largest they go to is a 1.8L for £35.

    For me, these are 100% worth the money. I take mine absolutely everywhere. I take it to work, day trips, long dog walks, holidays. Mine live in my bag because I genuinely never go anywhere without it anymore. Plus the added bonus of it being re-usable and not a single use water bottle is better on the environment too and I just think it’s a really practical purchase and so so worth it!

    Have you got a Chilly’s bottle? If so, what do you think? Let me know!


    Self care is a pretty difficult thing to do constantly and I know that I don’t put as much time and effort in to myself as I probably should. I’m in a bit of a rut with my routine where it’s: Get up, makeup on, hair brushed, out the door, get home, tie my hair in a top knot, wipe my makeup off with a baby wipe and go to sleep and even typing it out I can see how much of a crappy routine that is.

    So recently, I’ve been trying to make more time for myself and not rush through everything so I can be out the door and on to the next thing I have to do. So here are some of the things I’ve been doing to look after myself a bit more.

    1. SKIN CARE – I am terrible at looking after my skin. I am awful at it and then wonder why the fuck I wake up with a new spot every day. I’m not one for a hella elaborate skin care routine but instead of baby wipes that are super drying on my skin, I’ve been using a makeup cloth type thing that is reusable so also better for the environment (yay) and then whacking on some Botanicals “All bright Gentle Cleansing Cream” rinsing it off and adding the matching toner and voila but it makes a huge difference to how my skin feels and only takes me 5 minutes!

    2. WRITING – I have really struggled recently with my head just constantly running and seeming to never switch off especially as I am in full wedding planning mode and all that has helped has been grabbing one of my trillions of note books and getting everything out on the pages. It has massively helped calm the buzz in my head and to have all my ideas in one place is actually really helpful.

    3. PODCASTS – I have loved listening to podcasts recently. They have become my new favourite thing. I have them playing constantly, they really help me to wind down after a busy day. I’ll listen to them in the bath, whilst I’m working out, cooking dinner. 90% of the time I’ve got one on. Some of my favourites are: Ear Biscuits – Rhett and Link
    Directionally Challenged – Candice King and Kayla Ewell
    Schnitt Talk – Ellie Schnitt

    4. SLEEP – Such an obvious one but make sure you’re getting enough sleep! I know I don’t sleep enough but I am desperately trying too. With a new work schedule that came with my promotion, my routine got flipped a bit but I am now making sure I get a solid 7-8 hours a night or otherwise I can’t function as a normal human being.

    What do you guys do to wind down on an evening? Let me know!


    So here we are. 2019. Feels a bit weird to type and weird to say out loud but it’s here.
    I would love to say I’ve hit the ground running for 2019 and have started how I mean to carry on but that would be complete bullshit. New years eve, after one drink I was in bed by 9 and fell asleep before the new year had even rung in and then new years morning I felt like death so I’ve got another flu/bug virus shit even though I just got over one, so we’re not off to a great start here.

    I will admit that I am usually someone who makes a new years resolution. It’s usually to get fit or be more positive but by January 7th I’ve eaten my body weight in cheeseburgers and I’m sat in the office at work trying not to have a breakdown because I’m already stressing out SO this year, I’ve decided that I’m not doing it. I am not going to put pressure on myself to try and stick to goals that are just some what unattainable because life is a thing and you can’t always stick to a goal.

    My plan is to just ride this year out. Yes, I am going to make a conscious effort to exercise a bit more and have a better outlook but the pressure I usually feel to keep up with them isn’t going to be there. I feel like half the reason I don’t stick to resolutions is because there is so much pressure to keep doing them even when they don’t fit into my lifestyle.

    My only goals this year are to explore more with my favourite people and that’s exactly what I am going to do. I’ve got trips planned and I’m excited for what this year holds!

    Do you have any goals or anything you are excited for this year?


    I’m pretty sure I have been in a permanent state of shock since it happened!

    Anyone who knows me knows that as cliche as it sounds, I have always wanted to get married. It’s been something that I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember and to have it actually happen is kind of insane!
    We’ve spoken about it throughout our relationship before and it’s always been a running joke that every time I mention it, he would delay it by a little bit because in true Ash fashion, I talked about it ALL the time, so somewhere in my brain, I always thought it was still a few more years away even though I would have married him the day I met him if I’d have had the opportunity!

    He had it all planned out and had obviously been planning it for ages and I was completely oblivious to everything and hearing how nervous he was to ask my Dad was probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I cried so much I’m surprised I didn’t have some symptoms of dehydration when I finally calmed down! (I’m still not calm and it’s been three weeks) so yeah! Get prepared for some wedding content here, there and everywhere when the planning is in full swing!



    After what feels like possibly the longest, busiest year of my life (in a good way) my final year of being a teenager has come to a close and here I am ready to take on my 20’s the only way I know how; which will probably include falling arse over tit, making a twat of myself in public at some point and continuing to be myself at all costs.


    So, here are the 20 things I have learnt in my 20 years on this world;

    1. Not everyone is going to like you (Once you realise this, the feeling of not giving a shit is wonderful)
    2. Make time for yourself (I feel like this is such on obvious one but you’ll feel so much better after some “me” time.
    3. Brows make a difference. Maybe it’s just me but I always feel my best when my brows are on.
    4. SAVE. This is something I’ve only started doing recently but it is SO handy to have money aside because you never know when you’ll need emergency funds.
    5. FOLLOW YOUR HEART – If something feels right, career wise or other. Do it.
    6. Melted chocolate is the best snack
    7. Family is everything. I am very lucky to have such a loving and supportive family in both my own and my boyfriends.
    8. Make time for people. Friends or family. They are important to your sanity!
    9. Steam clean your floor. You will not regret it.
    10. It’s okay to buy yourself that something nice, just don’t go overboard on the spending!
    11. Work hard. I always feel better knowing I put my best work forward
    12. 99% of leggings are see through when you bend over, always wear a top that covers your bum.
    13. Wash your makeup brushes often. Yes, it’s a chore but is there many things more satisfying than a clean brush collection? no.
    14. Pee after sex. No sex is worth a UTI.
    15. ALWAYS buy good quality razors for shaving, nobody needs a rough shave anywhere!
    16. You don’t need to know everything, it is perfectly ok to not know certain things in life.
    17. Buy big black Bridget Jones granny pants from Primark for “that” time in your cycle, it’ll save you from ruining your Calvin Kleins every month
    18. Indulge in crappy TV. Nothings help me destress more than curling up on the sofa watching Love Island.
    19. STOP trying to please everyone. It is physically not achievable so only do what’s right for you.
    20. Macaroni cheese and chunky oven chips are the ultimate indulge food.